I forgot

Not too long ago Husband and I were driving home from a date night.  We had a good evening, it was great to spend time with him without the baby.  We talked, we laughed, we bonded again as a couple.  As we got closer to home we also got closer to a local park where I have a planned trail race in November.   Husband looked over and noticed I had tears streaming down my cheeks.  

I had not signed up for the race yet because registration hadn't opened.  However I had been in contact with some local runners who are also planning to run this same race.  The race has three distances: 10k, 20k, and 30k.  The race consists of a 10k course that you just repeat as many times as needed to do your distance. I wanted to do this race last year but couldn't because I was pregnant (I was still running but not trail running as it's too dangerious because I fall a lot).  I had planned the 30k last year.  A couple of the runners I knew did the 20k and had mentioned that they had no desire to do the 30k.   

So this year when the email about the upcoming race came out I said I was in for the 30k, so run the loop 3 times.  They both decided they would do the 30k as well.  Immediatly upon finding out the only thought I had was "Shit! They are so much better and so much faster than me, they are going to lap me. I'll feel like a loser. I am such a loser."

This happened a couple days before this date night with Husband.  As we got close to the park this thought popped into my head, about them laping me and me being a loser. This caused me to become super negative about myself and myself as a runner, which caused the tears.

I explained this to Husband and he said "Why can't you just run the race for fun, who cares if they run faster, aren't you doing it for fun anyway?".  I processed this and replied: "I forgot how to enjoy running."

I forgot how to enjoy running.  Running.  Something I am dearly passionate about. It was no longer fun for me. It was no longer something I did for enjoyment.  I was struggling through health issues and struggling through post-baby body to become a stronger runner than I was pre-pregnancy.  For what? Not for fun. I felt I had to PROVE I was good enough.  But prove to who?  The person I felt I needed to prove myself to doesn't care.  In fact, the only person I need to prove myself to is ME.  I might not be happy with where I am but I also know I'm doing as best I can right now and that should be good enough.  So why isn't it?

CTWW - looking at our young ones

I skipped this post last week but I'm happy to be on my toes and able to join Reduce Footprints and others for this weeks challenge.  Plus, imagine my surprise when I go to google reader to check out the challenge for this week and find it was one that I suggested!  

Here it is:

This week, if you have kids, think of something which involves your children, which also creates waste or is environmentally unfriendly, and commit to changing it. For example, consider how your baby is diapered and whether or not there is a more Eco-friendly method. What types of materials does your youngster use when creating those artistic masterpieces? Does your teenager drive or walk to school ... and what about school supplies? This week is all about greening our kids.

Or ...

If you don't have children, your challenge is to be an observer and then offer recommendations. Take a look at the families around you and talk about what you see working ... and what doesn't. Offer recommendations and helpful tips to assist parents in greening their children.



These are the diaper covers we use

 As you are aware I recently expanded my family of two to a family of 3.  R is 14 weeks now and doing great!  However with a baby comes more waste.   So far we have that to a minimum and the things we are planning to do as she gets older should keep waste to a minimum.

The biggest one, and the one that gets the most obnoxious comments, was our decision to use cloth diapers.  I wanted to use cloth mainly because I feel it's the healthiest alternative for our child.  The fact that it keeps tons of diapers out of the landfill is just a benefit. haha!   If you look into this these days there are a lot of different options.  We went with an option that is more work on us but was a lot less costly.  The diapers and covers will also last us until she is potty trained and beyond.  Think 2nd child. Although that's wishful thinking on my part as Husband only wants one kid.    We used prefolds, which means those will end up as rags once they aren't diapers anymore. (On a side note - our dog has had a lot of urinary track infections lately and therefore sometimes has accidents in the house.  We have started using the prefolds to clean it up and OMG they work awesome. Best idea ever.) So it's not even that they will go to waste after the fact.  Right now the main cost to the environment is the water usage.  I have enough that I can wash them every 3rd day. That just means I'm doing a lot of laundry. You have to soak them and then wash them with extra rinse.  The diapers don't dry 100% in the dryer. However instead of running the dryer twice I just hang them up.   Oh..and no point in buying wipes when I'm going to be washing diapers.  We use cloth wipes as well. On a side note..these wipes are so freaking soft. I started keeping several with my running clothes and now I use them to wipe sweat off of my face when I run.    The wipes can later be used as rages, as dish clothes, etc. There are a lot of uses.  Oh, and we did look into use a cloth diapering service.  This would minimize waste in regards to water and power used to wash/dry the diapers.  However, we made our decision on cost. It's actually a lot less expensive for us to do it ourselves.

These are the prefolds we use

On a side note...cleaning the diapers really isn't bad. I'm planning to do a post on that in the near future.

I am also nursing as best I can.  I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to do it but I'm making the effort. I do believe this is environmentally friendly because I'm not buying a lot of formula (we do have to substitute).  My body is making the milk and the only waste involved are the bags to freeze it.  At this point I'm making so little of it that I don't freeze it anymore, I just put it in bottles and take it to daycare for the next day.  So even that waste isn't a concern anymore.

With a baby comes stuff. Lots of toys and STUFF.  I'm happy to report about 90% of what we have was given to us used.  The majority of what was bought for us were the diapers and accessories for the cloth diapering and clothes.  R is the only girl on both sides of the family so everyone was very excited and we have a lot of clothes.



These are other inserts we use. I actually like them better
but they were more expensive so we don't have
as many.

 As R gets older I know there will be more waste involved.  We are going to try and minimize this as best we can.  We are both in agreement that we will start out making her food.  We agree that we don't want a ton of toys.  My sisters might have had all boys but there will still be a ton of toys we can take from them, especially right now (we actually already have).  We are also in agreement that we love the wooden toys and not the plastic crap from China.  So we'll try to make our preferences known for when it's birthday and Christmas time. 

I'm sure as she gets older different things will come up, this is just all I can think of for right now. 

CTWW - Looking around outside

This is the challenge that was given to us by Reduce Footprints last Wednesday:

This week take a look at your yard for toxic and/or non-environmentally-friendly materials. For example, does your garden hose contain lead? Is the pool, yard toys (slides, swings, doll houses, etc.) made of plastic? How about buckets, tools, garden pots .... or window netting for insects ... are they made of harmful plastic? Identify the materials used for the things you have in your yard and then, make plans to replace those items with Eco-friendly, safe versions. NOTE: we're not asking you to run out and replace everything in your yard ... but simply to evaluate items and replace as you can or deem fitting.

Or ...

Don't have a yard, patio, etc.? Then your challenge is to look indoors. Focus on one room and do the same ... identify any harmful, non-Eco-friendly materials and make plans to replace them. This might include paint with harmful ingredients or a plastic shower curtain. Other ideas include plastic decor, light bulbs, etc.

I thought about this one yesterday as I was outside doing some things around the yard.  I think Husband and I do pretty good.  It's not the best but it's ok.  Most of what we bought and have we did before I started to really focus on my impact on the environment.    We do have a couple things we've done since though.

We do have an inground pool.  Talk about NOT being very environmentally friendlly.  However a couple years ago we converted it to a salt water pool.  Yes you still put chemicals in it.  However of us that is just when we open the pool.  We have found with the salt water we are able to keep the water clean and clear without doing too much.  We don't have to add chlorine to it after the initial dump of chemicals in the beginning of the season.   The salt water is definitly healthier for us.   Pool chemicals are either going to be in a plastic container or a plastic bag.  Since we rarely buy these chemicals we are also able to reduce the amount of waste in that regard.  Sure we could recycle the containers (throw away the bag) but even that has to go through a process.  Now we can reduce the amount we throw away and recycle.



For some reason I don't have a pic of
them outside but this gives you an idea

 We also wanted new furniture for outside by the pool.  The table and chairs were left by the previous owner and we don't like it.  However we are too cheap to buy new stuff.  Last summer Husband actually made some lounge chairs for us.  Instead of having plastic chairs he made some out of wood.  It looks nice and it had a much lower impact on the environment.  Well, at least I believe it did.  I guess the wood could have gone through some kind of process before it got to us.

One thing that I have made an effort to change, however, involves cleaning up after the dog (and deer).  It's not exactly something that we use outside but since she goes outside and I had to clean it up I did think about it.  Instead of putting her waste in a plastic bag I actually put it in paper bags.  I know this will break down easier in the landfill and over time it's a better option than using a plastic bag.  Plus it's pretty cheap to buy the paper bags, I just use paper lunch bags. 



Blackberries from this year.

 Now the last thing I wanted to mention kinda goes with this and kinda doesn't.  I had wanted some kind of privacy cover/fence for around the pool.  I also wanted blackberry bushes.  We decided to put the blackberry bush on the pool fence.  This not only provides us with some cover for when we are in the pool but it also kept us from having to buy/build something for the blackberry bush to climb on.  Instead of just having some grasses or some other plants around the pool, we have a plant that provides us with fruit.  Win-win if you ask me.

Pregnancy and working out

Running at the gym in March, final leg
of an indoor sprint triathlon

I've done posts before mentioning how I was working out while I was pregnant.  I was very happy that I was able to work out the entire time.  In fact, I ran 5 miles the day before I started having contractions.  I suppose that's about as close as somebody can get.

I took the time not too long ago to actually figure out how many miles I did while I was pregnant.

My total mileage: 1,172.61
Running: 564.92
Swimming: 29.49
Biking: 566.15
Walking: 12.05 (this was when I set out to run but had to walk instead)


I am so happy with how well I did.  My goal had been to work out till February.  February came and went and I was still movig well.  The further along in the pregnancy I got the worse I felt, major pains.  However the baby was safe so I handled it. 

Some days we just need to cry

As you know from my posts while I was pregnant, I've been deeling with a lot of depression issues.  I had hoped once R was born and the hormones leveled out I would be ok.  That hasn't been the case. I had postpardum depression really bad.  I know a lot of those can be caused by the hormones but I also know a lot of it was just dealing with my issues, the same things bothering me while I was pregnant.   I believe most of the postpardum issues have passed however I'm still dealing with depression.  Even though I'm breastfeeding I had to admit the problems were bad enough that I needed help and went on medication. It's not something I'm proud of, it's not something I'm happy about, but it's something I had to do.

Postpardum depression or any postpardum issues, while you hear about them more often they are still very taboo.  Nobody wants to admit that they have trouble adjusting.  I don't want to admit that I have trouble adjusting.  Yes, I said have because I'm still having some issues.  I plan to do a series of posts just talking about some of my issues.  Not only does it help me to talk about them but I think it will help others to realize they aren't alone.  

So lucky readers, are you ready?  You better be. 

Change the World Wednesday - struggles

Here is the challenge for this week:

This week, suggest a challenge. This can be a repeat of a past challenge, a version of something we've already done or something completely new ... anything which you feel we should address.

And/Or ...

Tell us about something you're struggling with ... a green-living activity which is difficult to adopt in your life.

This is a good challenge from Reduce Footprints this week.   I think I've got an answer for both. Look at me coming back with a punch!

The challenge I would suggest is for those who have kids.  Think of something involving your kids that creates waste or is environmentally unfriendly.  How could you change this?   If you don't have kids, do you know people who do and do they do anything you could recommend for us?  

As for something I struggle with, that would be composting.  I have a couple of yogurt containers that I saved and when I have waste for the compost bin I put it in the containers.  Then the containers sit there because I'm too lazy to walk them outside to put in the compast bin.  The containers do have lids, so it's not like it's stinky.  Well..then the containers fill up.  I still don't take them to the compost bin.  That means any more waste I have ends up going in the normal trash.  I know it's just a lazyness thing. I know it would only take me a couple minutes to take it outside and dump it.  I don't know why I don't just do it.    I try to make the effort and I'll do really good for a couple weeks, then I let it slide again.    The good thing is that I know it's a struggle and I'm making the effort.

And...we're back

It's been an interesting 11 weeks, well, almost 12 weeks.   As you can imagine we've spent the time getting the household adjusted to life with a baby.  I would like to say adjustment went well, for the most part it did.  However I suffered from horrible postpartum issues.  I'm still having some issues but luckily things are getting better.  It doesn't come as any surprise to Husband or my Dr. that I would have had a rough time, they were both expecting it. 

I hope to get back into the swing of things updating this blog regularly, I promise not to talk about R non-stop. However be prepared to deal with me talking about my running.  That's been an interesting adventure.

So I suppose this is your warning..watch out readers...I'm baaack.  To sweeten the deal, I promise to post a heck of a yummy recipe soon.