Frustration

I don't think it will come as a surprise to any of you when I mention how much I like to workout.  Even a bad workout is preferred over no workout.  It's not that I'm that vain and want to keep my body in the shape that it is, it's more that it's a huge stress reliever for me.  I don't usually have a lot of stress, but a workout can still be very calming.

So that's why I'm struggling with working out while pregnant.  It's not that I can't workout, because I'm still working out roughly 5 days a week.  The issue is that I can't do the intensity that I need.  As luck would have it, my relatively stress free life is currently very stressful (both home and work).  I'm nursing an injury so I'm not able to run, but I'm able to do a lot of cross training.  I'm spending my time riding a bike, swimming, and doing strength training.  All are great workouts.  It's not the same as running.  It doesn't calm me the same way.  To make matters worse, I have to keep my heart rate at 155 or below, which means I can't get in as tough of a workout as I would like.  I think this adds in a bit of stress.

To add to this, trail running is a huge passion of mine.  I had 3 trail races planned for this winter. Due to being a huge klutz and tripping every time I trail run and falling a lot, I'm currently not trail running while pregnant.   I realize that this is all for the best, seriously I do.  It's still hard to not be able to do something you love so much.  I live 5 min from the park I prefer to run at, so it's not even like I can avoid it.

Yes, I realize I need to watch my hear rate.  Yes, I realize it's best to avoid situations that I know would be harmful to my body.  Yes I'm still stressed out about it.  Yes I do realize how that sounds.  Husband and I dealt with infertility and it took 20 months for my body to actually work properly.  So feeling upset because I can't do the races I wanted to do and feeling upset because I can't trail run or workout to the intensity that I want is also causing a lot of guilt.  I shouldn't be stressed about it, I should be happy about it because of the reason why.  Yet, it's hard on me.  I wish it wasn't.  I kinda hope this is a normal reaction that people have, just being a tad upset but I feel like I'm alone in this.  Which causes more guilt. Which stresses me out.  This is a viscous cycle.