Friday, March 30, 2012

Sometimes being nice sucks

Do you ever get that overwhelming urge to just say what is on your mind?  The urge to go off on somebody who has done something to piss you off?  The urge to just yell and get it all out?  I have that urge often but rarely do it.  Some days, like today, I hate being a nice person.

I'm not going to get into what the current thing is that pissed me off today. I don't know who all reads this blog although the person who pissed me off, I highly doubt they do.

The thing is, what pisses me off is something that they refuse to do for me right now...really almost the entire time I've been pregnant.  However it's something that I would do for them in a heart beat if the roles were reversed.  It's something I have done for others without thinking twice.  It's something I would do for friendship.

Perhaps I shouldn't say I'm pissed off, I'm hurt.  That's it. I'm incredibly hurt.

That leaves me to really think about my relationship with this person and if the friendship is worth it.  Some people, it's all about them.  They are very selfish and can't see past what works for them.  Do I need that in my life?  No, not really.  However do I look forward to losing a friend over it?  No.  It's a war of emotions right now. A war I would rather not deal with.

If I could just yell at this person and tell them how I feel, I would feel better.  It feels good to get it all out.  However, the problem is then they would probably feel like crap.  Which would in turn make me feel like crap. So in the end I don't say anything because I would rather just be upset by what they did to piss me off instead of being upset because I made them feel bad.  Sometimes being a nice person really sucks.  Sometimes being nice is overrated.

I can't be alone in this?  Do you guys ever have these types of issues?  I hope so.  Not that I want you to feel like crap, I just want to know that I'm not alone.


  1. Oh no ... you're not alone in this! I'll tell you about a situation I once had with my best friend. She did something that hurt me a lot. Like you, I won't go into details ... I'll just say that I couldn't continue the friendship if there was a possibility that it would ever happen again. So I had a choice ... I either kept quiet and ended the friendship or I told her how I felt. Telling her how I felt had it's risk as well ... if she didn't take it well then we'd probably part ways. But in my heart I believed that she wasn't trying to hurt me ... and that, in fact, didn't even know that I was hurt. I also believed that if that wasn't so and she didn't react well to my concerns ... well, perhaps it wasn't such a great friendship after all. So I calmly told her how I felt. She was surprised that I was hurt but looking at it from my point of view she quickly understood. We cleared the air and have been the best of friend ever since. So sometimes, if one can find a constructive way to bring it up, it actually helps a friendship to clear the air.

    Miss seeing you at Reduce Footprints ... hope everything is okay and reasonably good in your world! :-)

  2. Thanks! Things have been busy but I hope to get back to the regular posts again! I did really well for awhile there. haha

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I did end up talking to the person and it felt good to clear the air, but then something else happened not long after and it just seemed like a cycle. Therefore...I've actually decided to just distance myself and put the ball in their court, so to speak. If they want to be friends they'll have to contact me. I won't contact them anymore. I figure I'll let them decide if we are friends and how close, etc. It actually feels good to pretty much wipe my hands of it and move on. If I was to guess it'll be weeks before this person even contacts me, if they do. So I think I made a good choice. I just don't need negativity right now, you know?